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gainsay (verb) to declare false.

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Fancy fair isle sweater for myself.



































































































































































































































































































Tuesday, Jul. 20, 2004 - 11:09 p.m.

Four years ago, my parents and I took a long trip to Tacoma, Washington, where my parents were dropping off their oldest child in a new environment 400 miles from home. And I, I entered a whole new phase of my life. My life amounts to 22 years of living, a small number in the whole scheme of things, and here I sit, in front of the computer screen I stared at for hours in high school, waiting for it to reveal to me the ultimate comparison for which I am really looking.

During the eight hour drive from Tacoma to Libby, Montana, I realized that four years of life and a well-earned college degree separate me from my former years here. For those who went to college not far from home, this might sound hardly relevant. Let me say this; I haven't been to this Montana home for more than a week since I began school at PLU. Where the hell do I fit in now?

I act more like a guest than a child who spent summer afternoons rolling down the hill in the front yard. Vacuuming the front hall seems like a kind gesture instead of a tedious chore. Jeff had two years and a summer living without a sibling, in the company of just his parents. I have no such experience, except for those first two years of my life where I am sure I was more intersted in wooden blocks the meaning of this life I am leading.

If I sound confused, I am. What do I do when I have a bathroom all to myself, with no boy to clean up after? What do I do with a day spent in a virtual paradise, with a kitchen full of food, a hammock to rock in, a cuddly cat to love?

When I decided to return home, I knew I would be going through a period of reflection. I KNEW I would be dealing with being in the midst of a transition. Those of you who know me well know that I HATE TRANSITIONS. So, what will ensue will probably involve a lot of reading and writing mixed with much coffee and wine, and a root canal at one point. Crying will also be involved, having already made a major appearance when I realized that I really am 400 miles away from the man I love. I am tearing up just writing about it.

So, confusion will probably reign for at least a few days here on aboutalice, because I will be trying to work out my thoughts and feelings. Hopefully, though, there will be some bright points as I post pictures of the paradise in which I was raised. Also, there will probably be some so-called "shananigans" as a result of my mother an I being reunited under one roof that has access to the cable channel Home and Garden Television. Siewert (my mom's maiden name) women have a tendency to strike down un-wanted walls and combat boring white walls with color.

Welcome, again, to my diary/journal. I am happy you have come and hope that while you are reading this you are drinking a comforting beverage and basking in the soft glow of sunlight. I looking forward to your return.

P>

***Books I convinced my parents to buy me at Costco today***

-The Life of Pi (We'll see if it lives up to the hype.)

-Reading Lolita in Tehran: A memoir in Books (This is going to be great!)

-Beyond Belief, by Elaine Pagels (Elaine Pagels is a GODDESS. This book is really my prize of the day.)

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