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Friday, Nov. 12, 2004 - 10:30 p.m.

Introducing, the first installment of...

Movies Someone Should Have Warned Me About

"Raising Helen" is awful beyond description. To understand, imagine what it might feel like if you blacked out every few minutes, only to return to your life, drastically changed. That's not only how Kate Hudson's character, said Helen, is feeling, it is how her audience feels as well. Why does Gary Marshall even try anymore?

Thursday, Nov. 11, 2004 - 3:46 p.m.

Thank god Seattle Weekly admitted how truly ridiculous this book is (scroll down to second review on the Seattle Weekly page). I would find "He's Just Not That Into You" offensive if it weren't total bullshit. Plus, why would I trust anyone who is an alumni of a show where the main character dresses like a junior high school student from the 80s, and, for that matter, has the intelligence about life to match?

Thursday, Nov. 11, 2004 - 3:40 p.m.

Ummmmmm... okay.

Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004 - 1:50 p.m.

Nothing but gloomy days here in Libby. All the fog settles into the valley, blocking all us poor inhabitants into gray days unending. I suppose that's the price we pay for living in an otherwise mountain paradise.

My mother's cactus thinks it is Christmas already.

I'm guessing it's blooming in case my mother's less-than-green thumb kills it before the season to be jolly. Sorry, Mom, but you know it's true.

Sunday, Nov. 07, 2004 - 2:51 p.m.

On a more fun note, I love the Zoloft blob. I am happy I am not the only one.

Don't mess with the Zoloft blob.

Sunday, Nov. 07, 2004 - 2:06 p.m.

The Guardian talks about 'happy pills'. Since it is no real secret that I am medicated for depression/obsessive compulsive disorder, I thought I might relate my own feelings about this. After all, this is my blog, and I'll write about whatever I want.

The above article is about Seroxat (A name which I have no idea how to pronounce. Serozat?), aka Paxil. Seroxat/Paxil is a SSRI, a Selective Serotonine Reuptake Inhibitor. The assumption is that those of us who have little quirks in our brains that cause us to feel unexplainably depressed or display obsessive compulsive habits (like my habit of washing my hands way too much) have brains that seem to create these problems becuase of an excess or lack of serotonine, which the brain uses to communicate with itself. The science of all this is still terribly new and inexact, a point which everyone needs to acknowledge, especially if they are themselves taking a SSRI or having their children take one.

I take Zoloft, which works well for me. The only struggle I really have had is arguing with my less than sympathetic psychiatrists (note, these are not the same as psychologists, who cannot, usually, prescribe any sort of drugs), who wanted to cure my every ill by increasing my dosage. When I said insisted that my dosage not be increased, I was actually accused of not being cooperative. The psychiatrist actually yelled at me. At that point it was evident that I wasn't the one with the issues to work out. So, I nixed the psychiatrist and just worked with my psychologist and a doctor, who sincerely listened to my concerns regarding taking Zoloft.

I have gone off and on Zoloft once, and never experienced problems, which I consider the luck of my own body's chemistry since I know others have not had such luck. My point as far as all this rambling goes is that SSRIs and our bodies/brains are both mysteries which we are just beginning to understand. That begs the question of how personal experience and medical science can best relate to eachother for the sake of those who need help.

This becomes all the more complicated when talking about children and SSRIs. I didn't first take Zoloft until I was in college, had worked with a psychologist for close to a year and was capable of making a decision for myself. Kids, obviously, have less say in their taking drugs, though I suppose they can have their own means of refusing to take a SSRI. Why do some SSRIs cause some children to be driven to suicide? Further, how can we be sure SSRIs are the sole culprit?

I am not a fan of children being medicated with SSRIs without a great deal more caution than is being taken now. I wish parents were more careful. My mother, no doubt, since she reads this journal, will argue with me about this later. She felt I should have been medicated in high school, which I didn't want and, through my stubborn nature (which I inherited from HER), I remained unmedicated. Part of what made SSRIs acceptable to me was that I made the decision to take one myself. Kids don't have that thought process to go through. So how does science begin to communicate with children in order to advance psycological help for kids that are suffering?

Something has to fundamentally change if we are going to be able to figure this out for the better of everyone.

On another note, never call SSRIs happy pills. They are NOT happy pills. People who take them don't sit on some cloud of euphoria. Taking a SSRI doesn't make everything happy but actually allows one to begin to work on issues that were unapproachable before because of that silly quirk of the brain.

If you are looking for happy pills, go talk to Bush; I'm sure he has some stashed away. How else do you explain his state of delusion?

Sunday, Nov. 07, 2004 - 2:01 p.m.

Here is what Harvey Fierstein has to say about this.

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