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Tuesday, Oct. 19, 2004 - 12:11 p.m.

This informative article refers to 'a war on teenage pregnancy'. Now, I am not completely sure how the author of said article feels about this kind of 'war', since the article really isn't about this kind of 'war'. All I know is that when teenage pregnancy is referred to as an epidemic or some kind of enemy that needs to be fought out of oblivion, I want to kick every man I see in the crotch. Luckily, my mom and I are the only ones home today.

Fighting a war on teenage pregnancy, as I see it, is ultimately fighting a war against teenage women. Since men themselves cannot carry a child or be in the actual state of pregnancy, they are excluded from any culpability in this 'terrible epidemic'. I want to see what would happen if the government decided to wage war against over-active teenage boys' dicks. But, appearantly, teeange boys aren't the problem because even though they are encouraged to be abstinent and therefore don't need to use condoms, they cannot help their urges to be sexually active. It is their 'job', after all, to procreate, right? They cannot be held responsible for being endowed with millions upon millions of life-producing sperm that increase the chances of pregnancy every time they have unprotected sex with a teenage girl who at any given time only has two eggs in her body.

Hey guys, if you're going to have sex, take responsibility for the fact that you are, biologically, the higher liability when it comes to unprotected sex resulting in unwanted pregnancy. Being taught how to put a condom on a banana in a high school health class does not even begin to compare with the educational rigor and social humiliation that teenage girls are put through in the face of unwanted pregnancy.

I am not immune to this myself. I looked at my pregnant high school classmates and thought, "God, how could she let herself get pregnant." Why didn't I think, "God I cannot believe the asshole she slept with was dumb enough not to use a condom."

There is no doubt in my mind that our world and society is more willing to let boys get away with anything and girls to carry the majority of the blame. That's not to say that their aren't boys out there who step up and take responsibility for their roles in teenage pregnancy, but they are seen as exemplary human figures. "Wow, we say, "Isn't he mature and great for not running out on his pregnant girlfriend," when his pregnant girlfriend is shunned for the same thing he is taking responsibility for. She has no other choice than to take responsibility, yet she is looked down upon and he is applauded for taking responsibility for what was inherently equally his fault in the first place. Appearantly, having a dick and sperm grants you the walk on the high road even when your actions are less than admirable and the same as your dickless and spermless partner, who has to walk the lower road simply because she is biologically gifted with the ability to actually create human life.

So, in the end, what is the conclusion of my rant? Maybe we should just send teenage boys off to somewhere else to live on their own for awhile. Oh, that's the book 'Lord of the Flies', isn't it? And the boys start killing eachother in that book, right? Well, then I guess they might as well stay and impregnant teenage girls, since then there will be someone else to take on the blame for their stupid decisions.

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